You have no idea the amount of life experiences you’ll have to endure by the time you get to 27, but you better buckle up and get ready because there’s no stopping you now.
Ultimately there are things that I wish you would have done differently, but to change the past is something that I would never want to happen. Truth is, every experience you went through has shaped you throughout your whole life.
You will have a lot of fear and anxiety in parts of your life that may have stopped you if you were anyone else but yourself. But you have no stop in you and you will achieve everything that you put your mind to.
Don’t worry about how fat or how skinny you are. Just live your life. You forget that you are good enough more times than you should. An intelligent and confident woman is beautiful no matter her size or appearance.
Your body will fail you for a while, unfortunately. You will be living in pain and I know the doctor’s won’t believe you, but you will become the biggest advocate for yourself. You will find the answers and someone will believe you and that one person is all that you need. Your life will change after that surgery and you will have a fresh perspective on how you’re supposed to feel.
There is a portion of your life where you will forget who you are and forget your ability to be strong. You will look in the mirror for a good 7 years and not be proud of yourself and won’t feel that you are worth anything. But I’m here to tell you to keep on going. Keep pushing through because there is another side. You think that there is no way you’re going to make it through, but don’t let your mind have that control.
You will have to go through mental, physical and sexual abuse. This is the part that I really wish I didn’t have to tell you about. I wish I could shield you from this pain, but I can’t. All I can say is that walking through those parts of your life will give you massive scars, but you can get through it. Trust in your strength and your heart, because ultimately that is what will carry you through.
Look to God in your moments of struggle and pain. But don’t forget to thank Him for the good that he’s put in your life, as well. Thank Him for the struggles because it’s made you a stronger person. He knows what He’s doing. Every person you’ve come across in your life is perfectly placed by Him. Don’t forget to pray every night and thank Him for everything. You may forget sometimes, but the beauty in Him is that he loves you regardless and wants the best for you no matter what.
You don’t know it yet, but you will be heartbroken time and time again. You will keep loving and letting people in because that’s who you are. But after your divorce that will change a little bit. You always will say that you want to get married once and never get divorced. But sometimes things happen in life that you can’t control. And that is OKAY. People will judge you and will try and tear you down, but you just have to remember that no one knows what goes on within the four walls that you call your home. You don’t have to answer to anyone but God. So be true to yourself and speak your truth to the world. It will all be okay. And one day – someday - you will find that love you always dreamed of and you will have that marriage that you only read about it books. Just don’t give up that hope. Fall in love deeply like you do. It will come with A LOT of pain and struggle, but don’t change that part of you. Remember that no relationship is worth giving up your self respect and view of self worth.
You will actually become a mom. Your body didn’t want you to be able to be one, but God had bigger plans. You’ll teach them to laugh and be goofy. You’ll nurse them back to health when they are really sick. It will be the hardest job you’ll have in your life, but worth every long night and every worry.
So you, with your green eyes and dirty blonde hair, believe in where you are going. Life can bring you such experiences that can severely destroy you, but you are resilient. Don’t lose that fight in your heart. Don’t listen to the people that want to bring you down. Trust in your faith. Accept yourself as God made you and don’t try to change any part of you. Learn to love the reflection in the mirror. You do not know everything so open your mind to other perspectives so that you can grow. Not everyone will like you, but don’t let it bother you. It’s okay to cry. I know you can’t get yourself to do it often, but it really does feel good if you can let it out. Keep helping as many people as you can, but still have enough energy to take care of you. You often times forget that…but you get a little better at that as you get older. The road will get bumpy and windy, but if you keep on going you’ll get to the edge of a beautiful, happy destination that only your life can give you. It’s worth the drive.
The Older (and Somewhat Wiser) YOU